If you’ve been following me you’ll know that I started a very low dose of HRT in the form of a patch in February this year. At the same time I had the mirena coil (do you say implanted / inserted?) to see if it would help with heavy and prolonged periods that I was experiencing during Perimenopause. This was my priority really and the biggest problem for me as it impacted on how shattered I felt, what I wore, worrying about leakages etc etc. The coil has massively helped in this respect. At first I wasn’t sure if I’d get used to the crampy, dull ache I felt but this has eventually settled a few months in as expected. Bleeding has vastly reduced so I just wear a liner every day and change this a few times but it’s enough to hold the small amount of blood spots. This has been life changing! I have maybe one day, where the cramp almost takes my breath away and I’m surmising that this is my body using every bit of energy and muscle to just squeeeeeeeeze out those remaining eggs ha! I still get the odd heavier bleed 🩸 (but by heavier it’s nowhere near as before, lasts a day, or two and tampons suffice). Hallelujah to that. And one day they’ll stop apparently. Will I feel sad? Nope? This will be a change that I’m sure I’ll fully embrace and appreciate. I do recall grieving a bit at various stages of the kids growing up, as I realise I’m needed less, and that I wouldn’t have any more babies, but don’t think I’ll grieve the end of periods. Periods are a bane, a burden and total pain in the backside. Good riddance I will say. One thing I’ve noticed is that if I forget to change my patch – oh like today ha! I get cramping like I’m about to come on. It’s quite helpful actually as it reminds me to change the patch. I find them quite convenient, they don’t irritate or anything but I do wonder how much I’m absorbing, especially when it peels off a little.
As to all the other things…tearfulness, brain fog, hot flushes? Hot flushes have improved and I’d say I only get them now if I’ve had alcohol when I’ll still wake up flapping! Actually increasingly I have to ask myself whether alcohol is worth it when you weigh up the pros and cons. It effects me in a different way now and is well known to worsen perimenopausal issues. Apparently because alcohol speeds up heart rate and blood vessels dilate, skin feels flushed causing the sweat response triggering hot flushes. Alcohol is also a diuretic meaning we need the loo more plus it alters circadian rhythm hindering true deep sleep. So the next day is usually a write off. Alcohol is also a central nervous system depressant so can worsen mood. It’s so difficult though isn’t it because the release that comes with that giggle with your friends makes everything that’s to come later irrelevant because we need those moments don’t we? Can I still get that without alcohol..? This is a personal challenge for me to ponder on…
In terms of the effect of HRT on my mood, that’s tricky because so many factors effect mood and cognition so it’s quite hard to gauge. I’d say generally I feel steadier, on more of an even keel. I’m less likely to randomly burst into tears which is helpful! I’ve been monitoring it and I think there’s a bit of a pattern emerging re my mood and that is oddly the week just after my period. It doesn’t make any sense to me but I’ve heard that you can top up oestrogen at times in the month so I might see my GP about this as there are gels and creams to top up as needed. It has to be worth seeing whether I need a slightly higher dose, just in case. If you’re not in tune with your body and emotions this must be so difficult to figure out. What’s me, what was me, what’s my normal? Now that I’ve adapted life to suit me and worked on self care and joy and calm and staying regulated, surely these are the things that have helped, more than the HRT, and yet I do feel it is an important part of the jigsaw for me. It’s not for everyone though, and this must be a massive disappointment for those women who have high hopes and then feel no benefit or feel worse! My heart goes out to you.
My skin and hair have changed back to how they used to feel and look which was interesting to notice. I’ve always had combination skin with a t zone prone to spots. That had stopped in recent years but commencing HRT changed it back! Likewise I used to wash my hair around three times per week but in my forties it got drier. Starting HRT it reverted! So interesting (to me anyway!). I feel a bit more revitalised and energetic, which is a good result. I don’t think the brain fog is any better ha! I still feel quite clumsy. I still rely on alarms and to do lists and my phone diary. Some days this is worse than others.
Just knowing helps. Knowing that the changes in me are part of a process of ageing and that my body will adapt is reassuring and normalising. With a few tweaks (some larger lifestyle tweaks than others) life has settled down. My ideal combo for getting through this transition now that I’ve had a bit of time to get used to it is:-
1. Identify the areas of stress and reduce where possible. This might be at work, in relationships, family or friends. This time of change needs to be accompanied by behaviour change to adapt and flow with the process. If we hang on to old ways of doing things we get swept down the river. Examining my default ways of coping and beliefs helped me to see what was contributing to my burnout, and I had to change. I had to get more assertive, to address my hidden hurts, to prioritise looking after myself as much as others and re-centre on my values.
2. Identifying the gaps and the unhappiness and filling them up with what makes my heart feel full. Making time to do this regularly. Dial up the fun!
3. Ideally try to get all the nutrients I need through a well rounded diet and supplements. Staying super hydrated.
4. Lift weights! To feel strong and healthy.
5. Seek out and nurture friendships old and new. Connecting with likeminded others is essential. I’ve met so many lovely people through writing this blog plus deepened relationships with others, just by being real and vulnerable. It was scary at the start to put my whole self out there but it’s the best thing I could have done.
6. The medical help – the coil (oh my goodness thank you for this invention medical science) and the HRT. I’ve always been a bit wary of medicine and preferred to soldier on but I think there comes a point to admit defeat and just be curious and see whether it could help and I’m glad I did. It certainly won’t help everyone as there is no one size fits all approach because we are unique in every sense of the word. I’d encourage you to keep notes and tune in to really weigh up whether something is working for you. This means paying attention and noticing both the good days and the bad, paying attention to your cycle if you can, plus external influences on mood like life stress and internal influences like whether you’re tired or remembering or being triggered. It’s not easy working it all out but making the effort to really get to know yourself can help.
7. The break. This for me enabled me to do all the other things. The previous pace that I was living didn’t allow for resting or making sense or noticing. Slowing down has been healing ❤️🩹. Now that life is speeding up again I’m super conscious to get the pace just right. There will be phases in life where this will need tweaking again I’m sure. I’ll be more prepared, more permissive and more committed to making the changes sooner. I’m looking forward to the next chapter.
I’d love to hear about your journey! Follow me or message me on Facebook or Instagram @seachange_01
Photo by Sasha : https://www.pexels.com/photo/back-view-of-blonde-woman-17260661/
Sea change 