My other half calls fog pea soup. He’s a lifeboat man and they know fog. Finding their way slowly, guided only by prior knowledge of and faith in their surroundings, their instrument readings and their team. Searching patiently and keeping moving forward is the only option. Accepting the weather and not fighting against it. Perhaps there’s something to be learnt from this.
Brain fog was one of the first symptoms I experienced and back then I didn’t link it to Perimenopause. Word finding was difficult and anxiety provoking especially in work meetings. Tick tock and I’d be frantically thinking, “Any word at this point Tammy! Please just say anything to end this agony!”Instead I’d probably apologise, blush, say never mind or put myself down. I became more forgetful which I hate as I’d like to think I’ve always been punctual and fairly organised but things started to fall off my radar or not even be on it! I noticed that my tolerance of noise reduced perhaps because I was feeling more on edge but I also think this was due to cognitive overwhelm. I was used to spinning loads of plates but it started to feel like some of them were dropping off.
Then one busy clinic day I confused two brand new patients and very understandably one of them was angry and upset with me. I was mortified and gutted to say the least but I couldn’t undo it, only apologise. This massively knocked my confidence at the time and I remember then thinking I need to ensure this never happens again. I need to simplify my work and focus on quality not quantity and slow down a bit. People around me were very supportive, reminding me that everyone is human and make mistakes and not to beat myself up. It was just a one off but it lodged a concern in my brain and I started noticing other things, and I wondered if there was something really wrong with my memory. I’d find myself with the fridge door open saying, “What am I doing again?”. I’d just shut it and later remember, “Oh yes maybe I should have some water”. Sometimes I get quite cross at myself when I’m being clumsy or forgetful and hear myself saying, “You div!” (Geordie for idiot!) I’ve needed to find ways to manage this and it is more manageable now but depending on tiredness or emotion levels, it can still get to me. So why does this happen during Perimenopause?
During Perimenopause there are fluctuations and a general reduction in key hormones progesterone, oestrogen and testosterone. These hormones are thought to be important in memory and cognition. Women like myself might worry they are in the early stages of dementia or that their memory will just continue to decline but studies show that cognition generally recovers to normal post menopause. Not all women suffer memory problems during peri and menopause and it’s thought that this is due to the complex interaction between hormones and an individual’s neurotransmitters in the brain. Throw into this that sleep is often disrupted due to Perimenopause and mood is up and down, the combination can all link in with confusion, stress and general overwhelm. It’s thought that there might be a window of opportunity for starting HRT for brain fog and this might be earlier in Perimenopause rather than later on, however more research needs to be done to clarify in what populations and what stage this occurs.
I have started to become much more reliant on memory aids like reminders and alarms in my phone and a giant notice board at home with all the family’s activities on it, shopping list and to dos. I try to look to the week ahead on a Sunday, wiping off the previous week’s to dos, and on a good week even try to vaguely meal and shopping plan (but this doesn’t always happen).
Here are some more things to try to help with brain fog, if you haven’t already tried them:-
1. Avoid multi tasking. Us women are great at it, or we used to be! Now – not so much. Actually research suggests that focussing on one task is much more productive and efficient than multi tasking. Additionally mono-tasking facilitates memory retention so win win. Put your phone down so that you’re really listening during a conversation and dive deep into whichever task your doing and follow it to completion. I’m terrible for hopping from one thing to the next and then thinking I have achieved nothing! So one thing at a time ladies!
2. I found I really needed to slim down my workload. This is a tough one to accept and it might not be right for your circumstances, but I felt less stressed and not pulled in different directions at work when I streamlined my responsibilities. Remember that hopefully it’s temporary and it’s better to do this and remain at work than go off with stress. So speak to your manager and see what can be done. Many workplaces now have a menopause policy. Unison for example have recently stated that menopause is “an occupational and equality issue” and have provided guidelines for employers. Unfortunately it does not yet appear to be a legal requirement, but I think we have a very good argument that it should be.
3. There is a lot of evidence to suggest that a healthy diet such as the Mediterranean diet, full of omega 3 fatty acids and vitamins is linked to good cognitive health and this is something we can control so worth considering to get us through this period. Good sleep also seems closely linked with better focus and attention so good sleep hygiene is worth prioritising.
4. Self compassion is essential- yes I told you it’ll be on nearly every list I write of what helps! It’s so important to quickly forgive your mistakes, accept that you’re human and not beat yourself up. Criticising yourself will only feed into your stress system so try to nip this in the bud and instead be kind! It’s not your fault! It’s flipping oestrogen’s fault! It’s peri’s fault – blame him! No seriously, we have a hard time anyway managing everybody else’s stuff (that’s a sophisticated word) plus hormones are messing about with our brains and our every day functioning. Now more than ever we need to show ourselves grace. This might also mean asking for help- from a boss or a partner, and realising we don’t have to do everything just because we always have.
5. Lastly just be honest- friends, colleagues and family members will understand if you say, “Sorry my memory is not great at the moment”. I sometimes say it’s my hormones / life stage, with a wry smile. After all, people need to be educated about this and the only way that happens is when we tell them. It’s useful to remember that the vast majority of the time, people are supportive and kind.
So next time you’re wading through the fog, look for the lighthouse, focus on that and that only, and follow it home. We will get there!
Sea change 