I think we could all say that this has been a tough year for the planet. During these strange times there is nothing “normal” about social distancing and separation from the ones we love. Recently I had my hair done. It needed doing but more than this – I really wanted to catch up with my sister who is a hairdresser. We both live in high risk areas and are currently not allowed to meet indoors. Going to the hairdresser though is allowed. It was lovely to talk and to see her but being conscious of the space between us, being covered in PPE, constantly clearing and cleaning up as we moved and importantly, not being able to hug when we said goodbye broke my heart a little. Now both of us for some reason have a reputation for not being fans of hugging. This is just not true! Yes I might pull away if the embrace is a little too long for my liking but we all have to have our boundaries! Something magical happens when two people hug or touch. A hand on your shoulder, a kind smile, eye contact and being close to other humans is actually an essential part of survival. Oxytocin is the hormone that is released in the brain when we sit next to someone, when we cuddle, or when we stroke our dog. It makes us feel safe, connected and importantly, regulates the stress hormone Cortisol. So here is the thing – not only are all of our stress levels up at the moment, meaning that Cortisol levels are up, but quite possibly, our comfort and safety hormone Oxytocin is down, due to social distancing and PPE. This explains why loneliness and isolation are key factors in mental health.
So wherever we can, we must make genuine, kind eye contact with strangers, stop to talk even though we’re at a distance from people. If you don’t have your own dog, stroke someone else’s if it’s okay with them! If you live alone try to get out of the house once a day just to be in a public place if you can. Check in on older neighbours, from the gate obviously! We actually need social contact for our survival and we need it now more than ever.
One of the techniques we teach in therapy to self soothe is the Butterfly Hug. Cross your arms across your chest, close your eyes or look down and take a nice deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Now place your hands on your shoulders and gently stroke down the top half of your arm towards the elbow, then lift off and move back up to your shoulders and stroke down the arm again. Repeat at a nice slow pace. This triggers Oxytocin in the brain leaving us feeling soothed and less stressed. It lowers our heart rate and calms our breathing down. Give it a try!
Sending you all a virtual hug!
Sea change 